Friday, January 18, 2008

Certainty of Motion

It has been noted that I often get my way in things. This shows in many different ways. I don't get cut off as often; people don't get in my way, even in crowded areas; corporate peons tend to see my side of things and help me out. This has been explained to me as a reality distortion field that forces others to see my way in things. In trying to quantify that ability so others could learn it I found that one of the aspects necessary is what I call: Certainty of Motion.

The important aspect of leading others to accept your conclusion is to determine the direction you are headed, including where you might end up. I find it's easier to do this if you choose two options, the desired outcome and the worst case option. We'll discuss how to choose the two options and why there are only two in the examples. After you've chosen your outcomes start walking towards the desired outcome and don't stop until you reach either the desire or the worst case option.

Now for this to work properly the worst case option has to be terrible, and you have to be capable of reaching it. It has to be bad enough that the other person won't let you get there, that way they'll help you to your desired outcome. Also you have to be certain of the desired outcome, and of why you deserve to go there. If you waver at all in your certainty they will stop you. If you are unsure that you deserve to go where your desired outcome is, change until your certain.

Lets look at some examples:

The Narrow Street
Lets say you were walking down a narrow street and a stranger begins walking towards you such that you two will run into each other if something doesn't happen. In this instance your desired outcome is for him to get out of your way, and in this example you don't want to break your stride. You must understand the two outcomes 1) You pass and he stops. 2) You crash into each other. Some of you might be saying "But there's a third option! Just both of you move". That's the key, there is no third option if you don't allow there to be one. If you won't budge then only the two options exist. Then start moving towards your desire with full certainty that the worst case could happen too.

Some of you might be saying, "but that's just rude behavior you're advocating." And in this scenario it's true, you have no reason to hog the whole street and working together neither of you will be inconvenienced. But now assume you're pushing a stroller with your babies in it, if you don't have certainty of motion, you will be stopped and have to wait. This gets worse in crowded areas, just look at how bus drivers handle it. Others might say, "but I could get hurt". You're absolutely right, very often the worst case scenario is bad for you also. Either be certain or don't do it, there is no in between.

The Decision
A friend you've known for a while has begun to do things that are offensive, and you're feeling used. A common response is to discuss with the friend the feelings you are having and hope that they understand and can change themselves. This lacks certainty of motion, and leaves open a continuity of being used because you were indecisive. Again find your desired option, "I don't want to be used". Find your worst case scenario "I will no longer have this friend". Note that there are other things people might have said for the worst scenario:
  • "I will hurt this person" - will you really? And is it worth it? A general rule of thumb is have every worst case scenario be something that only deals with you.
  • "I will sue this person" - Will you? Sometimes that is the path you will take, but don't do it unless you're willing to finish that outcome. Remember if the desire fails you must take the worst. There is no middle ground.
  • "I will write them an angry letter" - It is important that whatever the final outcomes are they mean you'll try never come up against this problem again. A letter is not enough of an end so you're not doing yourself justice in finding the worst scenario.
Then inform the friend, tell them this is how you feel and this is what you will do. Then remain certain, don't allow loopholes. If you feel they violated the spirit of what you wanted, move to the worst scenario.

You might say, "but that person could really have been worth it". That means you were unsure of your desired outcome, you didn't really want to "not be used anymore", you wanted that person to be good. It always come down to the choices for your life. Making sure you're the only person who makes them is part of the certainty.

I hope this helps you understand how I move through the world. Since I'm not really able to manipulate others I rely on this to get me through life. Moving like a rolling boulder with little room for compromise. It may be this requires you to feel like you're stronger than other people, or more deserving. But if you want to try it, remember you are deserving.

Friday, January 11, 2008

Open Source: The Copying

I just read an odd article from Joel on Software on different types of software I'm kind of ambivalent about his point in the article (I hyperLinked my way into it from the Coding Horror blog which is really excellent). I was only inspired to write when I read this off-hand comment:

As a result geographically dispersed teams [Open Source software has] done far better at cloning existing software where little or no design is required.
Immediately the open-source advocate in me sprang into action with a mighty, "That can't be true". Which began a rather heated debate... with myself.

This debate resolved itself into two points, one interesting the other not so much. The not so interesting point (because I know you're curious) is:
  • Most commercial software has done nothing better than cloning existing software, heck Microsoft has been cloning itself for years. Hah! How's that for a witty rebuttal.

The second, more "reason for the blog", point:
  • Open Source software centers itself around a need. Normally one person's need. That need has to be communicated to others enough to make them feel the need.

So it's no wonder some of the first collective needs are software they see but can't have. I say "can't have" as a recent college escapee who was so happy that Open Office and Gimp prevented me from writing my papers in Notepad. No, before you ask, I couldn't afford to pay those payed employees at Microsoft with my college "salary".

Given this train of thought I'm excited to see what comes from open source next. Because what they'll seek next are things they WANT. I imagine the works coming from Open Source will be a honed nugget (remember they have to communicate the need to others) of desire made into reality. As an added bonus there is no incentive to do extra, because that will just take longer. A single desire formed whole as software, perfect.

I'm not saying I'm expecting the sourceforge help wanted boards to suddenly be filled with anything other than "Good Programmer wanted for totally new amazing MMoRPG". But when a programmer finds a desire for something real, he can build it in this open source vehicle, and as he distills the idea and gets others on board a unique focused software will emerge.

I compare this to the drivel of things the megacorp thinks you might like all packaged in one easy to pay for package and it is no wonder I'm nearly completely an Open Source shop.

Monday, January 7, 2008

You're looking with your mouth

I realized just now that the reason people believe I am smart is that they rarely see me displaying my ignorance. I always perform as much of a search on a subject as I can before requesting another person's aid.

All of this can be traced back to when I was five.

It was time for school, and as usual I couldn't find my shoes. It's not that we lived in an unclean house, it's just that I had a habit of tossing them somewhere as soon as I got home. I yelled with all my five year old frustration, "I can't find my shoes!" To which my mother promptly responded "That's because you're looking with your mouth." And demonstrated by showing me my shoes were out in plain sight.

Now you might be tempted to think that it was from this that I learned the lesson to look first. If you think that you have never had children. This story repeated for months, sometimes the subject matter changed, it moved from shoes to toys to sweaters. But the refrain remained the same.

My poor haggard mother forced me to learn by modifying her catch-phrase. Moving to "You're looking with your mouth, and if I come in there and find them I'm going to swat your butt". Genius that my mother is she realized that I hated to be punished (even though her swats had stopped hurting when I was 6). So I learned to look exhaustively before ever requesting aid.

This is not just a skill to prevent your girlfriend from getting annoyed when you ask where the remote is. Very often the information other people give us is incomplete, but before you go back to get clarification give it a go. Other people are always impressed to know you tried and can show where you looked before bothering them. Imagine how often you've asked your boss "How do I do this?" Only to have him point you to the email he sent you when you started the project.

Sometimes there are things you just couldn't know, but you'd be amazed what you can find (or do) if you force yourself to look. You'd be even more amazed to find the number of things you can figure out all on your own if you try to do everything yourself first. Just imagine how smart you'll look when you figure out everything (including how to do things simpler), and begin doing things better than your boss.